Winter Wonderland

I'm sure almost every Flagstaff blog must have the same title right about now. I don't know exactly how many inches it's snowed these last few days, but it is a LOT (and still snowing)!

After Bryan and I decided not to drive to school,

we walked instead. The normally short (20 minutes at the most) walk to school took a little over 30 mins. The walk was definitely worth it, despite being a little late for my second to last final exam. Although I will always dream of Monet's Plage (right), I always have a special place in my heart for snow. It reminds me of (here I go again) a simpler time and place; or at least my schema of a simpler time and place. I can't wait until my last final exam is over (tommorrow) so I can relax and enjoy the white stuff with Bryan. Snowmen, hot chocolate, and knitting in our cozy apartment are pretty high up on the list. Who knows? Maybe we'll even finally go cross-country skiing up at the Nordic Center like I've always wanted.

Bryan walking to school

Today the prefered ecofriendly mode of transportation is walking

Our street (Forest Meadows)

Watch out for falling snow!

Constitutional Confusion

As I sit in the classroom waiting for Bryan to be done with his Monday evening class so we can go home for the day, I stare blankly at the decorations that have recently been surreptitiously added to the wall next to the doorway. Beginning this fall semester, NAU (or is it the state of Arizona?) has mandated that every classroom must display an American flag and a copy of the United States Constitution on the wall for all to see.

What does this mean? Are we to somehow feel a sudden swelling of love for America, a nation that is a hostile presence in other countries? A nation about which I can't even begin to list all the reasons why I'm embarrassed to call myself by its nationality? What were the people who decided all classrooms needed this American "paraphanilia" thinking? Is it some Big Brother type tactic to remind us all of our patriotic duties? Because it sure doesn't remind me of my rights as an American citizen (the Bill of Rights is proudly emblazoned in the centre of the copy of the Constitution); rather it reminds me of the rigidity of the original structure of our government.

These symbols do not fill me with pride for our country. Placed in our classroom passively and aggressively, they are a not-so-friendly reminder that dissent against the government, against the war, against President Bush's will that the poorer children of this nation not recieve health care at reasonable costs is ill-advised.

When It's Good, It's Good

Working at the hospital is tough work. There's a lot of lifting to do, convincing people to get up who don't want to, cleaning up messes that most of us take for granted with a quick swipe of toilet paper a couple times a day. And I probably complain a fair amount about having to go to work on the weekend. But when it's good, it's good. Though those special moments may be few and far in between the less pleasant clean up moments, when the special moments happen, they can bring tears to my eyes. I can't really describe what makes these moments so great. Maybe it's the sheer simplicity of a patient being able to accomplish some of the most ordinary tasks that many of us take for granted: being able to feel the cool fall air on their skin, being able to stand up for the first time after a car accident, or even being able to roll in bed and scoot around.

I do a lot of passive range of motion on patients in the intensive care unit, and I often wonder what that patient is really like as a person. Who's hiding inside that outer shell of a person? What did they do in life? What were their hopes and dreams? Do they know what's happening to them? And then I may be able to get something as simple as a voluntary hand squeeze or toe wiggle, and this is such a huge accomplishment for them. So, even though I do more than my fair share of complaining, I think deep down I really do appreciate the opportunity to center myself, and re-calibrate my views on how amazing simple accomplishments can be if we take the time to appreciate them.

Maybe It's Not So Bad After All

Yes, the week started out on a rather unenthusiastic note, but I have to say that today I'm more encouraged about the rest of the semester (there I go thinking about the future again. Or does this mean that our happiness in the present is somewhat dependent on our perceptions of the future?).

Today for cardiopulmonary therapeutics, our assignment before we came to class was to review the basic anatomy and physiology of those systems. Then our "class" consisted of 3 rounds of trivia questions we had to answer. Prizes were given out to the groups with the most "right" answers, and our homework for the weekend is to find out more information on those questions we got wrong. In short, today was a fun way to learn about some really important stuff.

I'm describing this whole learning process for a reason; last night Rachel and Steve told us about the public elementary school system in Fort Collins. They described several different learning environments that in their non-traditional approach to learning sounded really cool. After having this experience today, I'm thinking there may be something to non-traditional education (i.e. Montessori schools, etc.) after all. I mean really, besides learning basic math, reading, and writing skills in elementary school, what did we learn to prepare us to problem solve in the real world? In a way, we need to let our kids experience what failure is, and then how to best react to it; instead of letting failure completely paralyze us, we need to learn how to effectively learn from our mistakes and better ourselves in the future. What better place to start doing this than school through creative learning processes? Ok there's my soap-box for the week.

The next time I post, I will probably have lots to say about Fort Collins, since we are leaving at noon today with Steve and Rachel for our road trip!

In A Strange Place

Today was the first day of classes, and for some strange reason, I wasn't as psyched as I usually am. Am I hitting a slump? In a way, I'm completely ready to be done with school, and I'm just not all that excited about this school year. But then I get to thinking... what is it that I'd rather be doing? Would I rather be living in a house, pregnant, having a job... being a "grown-up?" But then I realize that when I've got all of those things, I'll be wanting something else; probably wanting to be able to take more vacations, visit family more often, and so on. So what is it I/we really want out of life? How can I figure out how to find happiness in current situations instead of always hoping the future will get here quicker? I feel like I'm in such a strange place right now. I'm burnt out with school, but know that I shouldn't always be looking to the future. I've always thought one should strive to be more in sync with the present. Maybe this is just a response to the first day of classes, what with going over the syllabi and learning about all the projects in store for us for the semester. Let's see how the rest of the week unfolds. (There's those thoughts about the future again!)

Child-Like

Lately, I've been exposed to many opportunities that remind me of how truly valuable it is to see the world through a child's eyes. Kids seem to have this wonderful personna that throws all cares to the wind. Kids aren't afraid to dance in public, or hum loudly along to a song that's playing on their toy piano, even if they are completely off-key. Kids feel free to laugh, cry spontaneously, yell loudly, and to forgive, apologize, and forget easily. Babysitting has helped me remember all these aspects about being a kid, and this has renewed the vow I made for my 23rd birthday: to live as child-like as possible. Of course, rather than implying immaturity, this means seeing the world with open eyes (cliche of the day) and not getting hung up by all the little stressors that seem to accompany the tasks of young adulthood.

Along the same line, one of the most exciting evenings I've had in a long time was last Saturday. Bryan, Rachel, Steve, and I went out to downtown Flagstaff. I love trying out local restaurants that I've never been to before; this time it was the tasty Flagstaff Brewing Company near Black Bean Burrito (also very excellent). After grilled pizzas and Porter Ale, we were off to Rendezvous for pomegranate mojitos. Then, my favorite part of the night, spontaneous dancing at the square to a reggae-sounding group we had never heard of before. Allowing myself to get completely into the music, uninhibited, and free was exhilarating. Rachel and I had a great time dancing... and I can't wait to go again (thanks Bry and Steve for putting up with us... but I know you guys had a lot of fun too)!

A Day to Remember

Today is a day I'll never forget. Early this morning saw me in O.R. 15 at the Mayo Hospital in Phoenix. Wearing teal scrubs, foot wraps, and a hairnet, I stood nervously next to a wall watching doctors and nurses prepare a patient for a total hip surgery. Soon, I was positioned in a prime spot at the patient's head to watch the surgery. The surgery was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Everything that was done seemed to make perfect sense; and it went off without a hitch; only 2 hours until everything was completely sewn up. I'll never be jealous of doctors' salaries again... they totally earn it.

On another note, I'm super excited to return to Flagstaff this coming Saturday. It's been pretty busy here trying to tie up loose ends and finish my evaluations at the clerkship site. I can't say it will be any less busy in Flagstaff, what with working 3 jobs this summer. Yet, being with Bryan and friends will make the hectic work-life fade in comparison.

Thumbs up to: Surgery! No doubt it will be the coolest experience by far I will have this summer.

Give the axe to: As much as I miss the Lumberjack "giving the axe" to something every week, I can't seem to think of much to give the axe to. Therefore, in keeping with the optimistic and happy attitude of the blog as I originally intended, the axe will not be given out except on rare occasions truly deserving of the Lumberjack's memoir.

Reving up for National Physical Therapy Month

Okay, time for another plug for the PT program at NAU, and physical therapy in general. I hope to see lots of people (that includes those preparing for half marathons next year in Phoenix... hint, hint) come out for the 5k walk/run our program is organizing this October. The idea is to raise money that will be funneled into a scholarship fund to help those with Parkinson Disease (PD) participate in physical therapy.

Did you know that regular exercise and physical therapy can actually help neurons (nerve cells) build more connections? This helps a lot for those with PD, especially in allowing them to move with less limitations. Historically the role of exercise has been downplayed in slowing the progression of PD, in favor of pharmaceuticals, but recently we have learned that exercise can be extremely beneficial in preserving quality of life for those with PD. The walk/run will be a ton of fun; there will be race t-shirts, snacks, and even prizes for more serious competitors.

Keep those eyes and ears open for more as October draws nearer; suggestions to make the event a success are always appreciated! For more information on Parkinson Disease, check out the National Parkinson Foundation website at www.parkinson.org.

Prescott's Growing on Me

Ultraconservatives mixed with Prescott College hippies aside, Prescott's beginning to grow on me. Although the tricity area is in serious need of efficient mass transportation, it has its perks. A dream come true would be to live in a little cottage near downtown, being able to walk to summer concerts at the square and the small boutiques in Bashford Courts.

The second weekend after my clerkship started, Bryan, Jeff and I were meandering downtown with full stomachs after a Friday night dinner of sesame chicken and mixed veggies. A band was playing at the courthouse square reminiscent of those bands that played at Buffy, Xander, and Willow's hangout. We sat and watched the band as hippie children danced around like little freeform spirits and Bill came over from Bill's Pizza to serve out free slices of pizza. Lounging on the warm steps of the courthouse that were begining to cool from the sunny day was so relaxing and calm. Maybe Bry, Rachel, Steve and I will find a similar scene in Fort Collins. Whatever city we finally settle in, I know it will be quaint, centered around an old fashioned downtown, friendly, not require long distances to drive, and be moderately liberal. So for now, here's the top 10 reasons why I love Prescott:


10. The Dinner Bell Diner followed by Coffee Roasters

9. Canton Dragon/Monsoon/Fujiyama (all great Asian food!)

8. Mild weather. About 10 degrees warmer than Flagstaff year-round.

7. Prescott College; a model of sustainability.

6. Snap Snap. Need I say more? Probably the best thrift store hands down... but that cute one by the Prescott Pantry is catching up quickly.

5. The Prescott Pantry. Where else can you feel like you've just made a meal in your own kitchen on your lunch break in Prescott?

4. The Prescott Public Library. Now complete with cafe and internet access (the only computers available when I was a kid were to search for books).

3. The Courthouse Square

2. Quaint Vintage Era houses near downtown

1. Family close by

Needless to say, Prescott is not the same without Bryan, Steve, and Rachel, frisbee in the parks, or outings at Barnes and Nobles. Looking forward to coming back to Flagstaff to enjoy all that despite my memorable stay in Prescott.

Thumbs up to: Appreciating what's in front of you.

Give the ax to: Let's spare the ax today.

Why I Love Bryan

The subtitle to this blog should also read: and why I haven't been blogging in quite some time! This is because I've been studying for our Grand Poobah PT final, which I took yesterday. And now to one of the many reasons why I love Bryan. He was able to hypnotize me for the first time yesterday to help me relax before the big test, and it couldn't have been better timing. He took me through a script specifically designed for test anxiety, which let's just say I don't lack.

Some of the ideas in the session really got me to thinking. The script was about how sometimes we loose sight of how we used to be as kids: wondering and marveling at newfound knowledge, and reveling in the possibility to use that knowledge. It's far too easy at this point in my life to view knowledge as a burden, just something I need to cram into my head at the last minute for yet another midterm or practical exam. So as much as I can, I'm going to try to hang on to my inner child, espcially since I turn 23 on Saturday.

Thumbs up to: Bryan and inner children. (Also the Sun's smackdown of the Lakers on Tuesday night!)

Thumbs down to: Even THINKING about relaxing gun laws in the wake of Virginia Tech.

PT Interviews (Is it that time of year again?)

Tomorrow are the PT applicant interviews for NAU. I can hardly believe that it's been an entire year since I was in the applicant position. I've come up with my questions that I will ask the students, and hopefully they work out well. I was never too fond of those "if you could be a type of (fill in the blank), what would you be and why?" Those questions are designed to test stress, but I think they are still irrelevant.

I rember being so nervous for my interviews. The (then) first year students kept encouraging us to relax, that everything would be low key. NAU did manage to pull off low-key interviews, but it was still almost impossible to relax. That's why I'm glad I'm not an usher tomorrow. I don't think I'd be able to tell the applicants anything else but to "relax." I guess somehow, you just have to put your best face forward and know that everything will turn out fine.

It is surreal to me that I will be meeting some of next year's potential PT students. These students are such a great group and will really be able to help people someday, as will my class. I'm so glad this is the profession I chose in life. I couldn't think of a more useful job that contributes to society more (for me).

Thumbs up to: People who find their jobs/careers rewarding and whose jobs have aspects of altruism to them.

Double thumbs up to: American Idol producers, who announced their intent to use American Idol as a fundraising tool to help decrease poverty in Africa and the United States.

Give the ax to: Not much. Another great day in Flagstaff, where average temperatures in the mid 40's really makes you appreciate those 60 degree days like today.

de novo

Among some of the slightly bookwormish things I do, one of them is recieving a word of the day in my daily e-mail. Today's word of the day struck me: de novo. It's latin and means anew, or from the beginning. I'm realizing that being able to start each day anew is more important than what I once thought.

For example, I find myself carrying increasingly larger loads of emotional baggage as I progress through the PT program at NAU. There are so many seemingly impossible hurdles: passing my classes, passing the big exam at the end of the year, passing the boards, being able to properly diagnose, develop a plan of care, coordinate therapy services to name a few. I've noticed that I tend to carry over this emotional baggage from day to day, instead of letting go of it at night and starting each day de novo. So, in the future, I will try to start each day de novo, in hopes of decreasing my time spent worrying about what could possibly go wrong.


Thumbs up to: The beautiful, temperate day we just had in Flagstaff (nice break from the wind).


Give the ax to: Overcommitting (saying I would help with new PT applicant interviews and work at the hospital on the same day).

For Her Information

This virtual magazine is just too cool to pass up telling anyone about. It's message is to "inform, inspire, and empower conscious-minded women," and can be found at: http://www.forherinformation.com/index.php.

Roses

So I'm trying out a new template. It's not quite what I'd hoped for, but will do for now as I am beyond technically challenged and it took me 45 minutes today to figure out how to make the top blue and put a picture on the side of the page. Definitely not simple.

So often we hear the phrase, "stop and smell the roses." If we're the one saying it, chances are we probably aren't all that stressed. On the other hand, if it's being cheerily said to us by someone who seems to have all aspects of their lives in order, we're much less receptive to the idea. I started thinking today of all the things I enjoy, so here are a few of the current roses that I'd like to stop and smell if only I can make some time for them.

Claude Monet: Chemin dans les bles a pourville is gracing the right hand side of my poor mangled template. I've realized I love a lot of Monet's work recently, especially the seaside images (they remind me of vacations at the Cape when I was younger and future escapes to France with Bryan).

Knitting/Crocheting Baby Blankets: Whether for Project Linus, or my pregnant classmate, I'll never grow tired of it. There's just something so soothing about relaxing on the couch and making something by hand.

Sophia Coppola: Despite scarily slow-paced Lost in Translation, I loved Marie Antoinette.

Ben and Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Dough Ice Cream: Delicious alternate to traditional cookie dough, and there can never be too many chunks of dough in the ice cream.

So that's a small list anyway.

Thumbs up to: Bryan for agreeing to go to Late for the Train with me more times than we should.

Give the ax to: water polo team members who swim in your lane with bad lane etiquette. (Off topic? Yes, but it's on my mind since I was just swimming with the pesky rascals a few hours ago.)

Is It Really Worth It?

I'm going to take a rare moment for cynycism here. I'm finding out that I simply can't do everything I need to or want to anymore; there is just too much to do. What are my priorities? Do I really care so much about getting an A on a test versus having no social life? But then I think, if I don't study as hard as I can, I won't be the best PT I can be, and I could end up seriously injuring someone. So how do I study like a crazy madwoman and still maintain my ideal simplistic lifestyle?

Here is a website I came across recently that deals about what is called the quarter-life crisis: http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/. It's a site for recent graduates/grad students about dealing with the pressures of work, a socail life, and money concerns. Other things I'm doing (besides studying neuro on a Friday afternoon - I swear I'm not!) are knitting/crocheting for project Linus (check it out at www.projectlinus.org), indulging by watching American Idol (maybe 3 days a week is a little too indulgent), and fantasizing about playing flute again.

Thumbs up to: mantaining sanity as I study for the 1st year comprehensive exam at the end of this semester.

Thumbs down to: Starbucks in the South Union running out of soymilk and chai at the same time (a valuable study aid).

Late Nite Study Break

Because I (once agian) fell asleep reading pathophysiology earlier this evening, I am up late studying for my video practical in clinical anatomy. Today in my clinical communications class, we talked about assertiveness vs. agression. In today's agressive and violent society, it is often too easy to forget what true assertiveness means.

Assertiveness means being able to state one's feelings about a situation or event in a respectful way. This way, neither of the parties involved in the situation feel hurt or belittled. Assertiveness is definitely a difficult task for me, and our assignment for this week is to be assertive in at least one situation, no matter how small. Is anyone thinking "School for Scoundrels?"

On a completely different track, I am recalling the original reason I began this blog - to highlight the simple things in life, and their importance in keeping our sanity in today's bustling world. I realize that my life right now is nothing short of complex... here's a list of simple things I enjoy vs. complex stuff that's not so hot.

Simple:

1. Riding my new cruiser bike to school every day.
2. Knitting
3. Studying in small amounts every day (no cramming).
4. Reading the weekly NAU paper
5. Coffee at Late for the Train with Bryan, Rachel, and Steve

Complex:

1. Cramming for school exams
2. Group presentations (although my group's presentation this morning turned out stellar)
3. Deciding whom to stay with when visiting Prescott/Prescott Valley
4. Balancing school, work, and family
5. Laundry (if it weren't for the Flagstaff cold, clothes should definitely be optional)

Recently at NAU

Being in the PT program at NAU is like being a passenger on a bullet train. Everything is moving so fast, too fast to jump off but too fast to keep up with everything. Ok so there was my metaphor for the week. Seriously, I've never had to juggle so many things at once. I am beginning to realize that all I can do is study as hard as I can (while still being able to focus) and stay optimistic and energized in the meantime.

What's great about the program, is all the students seem to really be on the same page. Classes are definitely interactive and not boring (although my bad habit of falling asleep in class after lunch would suggest otherwise).

This past weekend, Bryan and I went to Phoenix so I could attend the state meeting of the American Physical Therapy Association, and to see Steve and Rachel. The meeting was a lot of fun, and I definitely felt that I was in the right place. My favorite seminar was on pilates as a method of strengthening, and my least favorite seminar was on vocational rehabilitation and worker's compensation (yuk). The most exciting part about the conference was being involved in the general meeting where the AzAPTA officially endorsed prop 201 (smoking ban). We had a lot of fun with Steve and Rachel too....

Thumbs up to: Bryan for being able to study at Barnes and Nobles for 8 hours on Friday during my conference and staying sane.

Thumbs down to: Rising prices of organic foods - remember, the more people support organic, the less expensive it is for everyone! (Yes, that was random, but so was the exorbitant price of groceries this week.)

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!! I hope your day is going great!

The Buck Stops Here (Apparently)

1. One book that changed your life? Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight by Thom Hartmann

2. One book you have read more than once? Skull Mantra (can't remember the author).

3. One book you would want on a desert island? Worst Case Survival Handbook: Desert Island. Although I also like Rachel's answer - sort of a la Captain Jack Sparrow roping together a couple of sea turtles to escape being marooned on a desert island.

4. One book that made you laugh? I can't remember what books have made me laugh, but I'm sure if there was a book version of "Little Miss Sunshine," I would have fallen off my seat laughing.

5. One book that made you cry? Redemption by Leon Uris (and also my Pathophysiology text).

6. One book you wish had been written? This is a tough one. "How to survive pathophysiology."

7. One book you wish had never been written? My pathopysiology text.

8. One book you are currently reading? Since I don't have any free time to read books I'd like to read (vs assigned reading), the book I just began to re-read before school started was 1984.

9. One book you have been meaning to read? Pathophysiology (is my procrastination obvious here?)

10. Now tag five people: I think I'm so late at answering this that everyone else is all tagged out.

Raven Rant Part II

After being flown at the third time by ravens (and two of them at that) today, I started realizing something. As a species on earth (Homo sapiens) we are governed by our tend toward natural selection. That is, just like any other species, we will protect our territory, fend for our young, and do just about anything to increase the numbers of our species. This is what natural selection is all about: survival of the fittest so that the fit can reproduce for the ultimate survival of the species.

As humans, however, we have super-species capabilities. We have the ability to reason about the state of our species in concert with the state of all other species and our biosphere: Earth. Whether you believe in some interpretations of the Bible that we are "stewards of the Earth," or in natural selection and evolution, at some point, we have to consider the consequences of our wasteful actions as a species. Such actions mean both that we are bad stewards and that we are not acting in the best interests of our species.

Say we go the natural selection route. If we acted in the best interests of our species, we would understand that the small things we do today that harm the environment are not worth the ultimate consequences we will reap in the future. We would realize that sustainable living is the only solution to the survival of our species.

Something to ponder: What is “sustainability?” Living in balance and interacting with our communities and our planet in ways that will sustain all forms of life now and in the future. (from Yes! magazine's FAQ page on their website, www.yesmagazine.org)

In other related musings, how ironic is it to create 1,000 (disposable) stickers for the Kids for Conservation program at the Coconino Community Fair coming up this September? Ah, the clash of the office place and personal beliefs.

"Quoth the Raven, Nevermore"

Walking to school this morning I came up to the Forestry building through the closed down fire lane between the old business building and the city bus barn, like I do every day I come to work. Suddenly I felt a slight brush on my head and a second later I saw a large black raven fly upward and land on a nearby pine bough. The raven hunched over, bristling its feathers at me, silently inquiring about my presence.

A few weeks earlier I had a similar encounter with a much noisier relative of today's raven. The raven a few weeks earlier flew at me several times, squawking in protest of my invasion of its territory, but never touched me like today's raven.

My first thoughts about these ravens were ones of protest. Crazy birds... what's their problem? Then I realized, their problem is plainly me. So often I think we take an anthropocentric approach to living. We'll say "when's it going to rain? We really need it by now," instead of "the earth could really do with some fresh moisture right about now."

Bryan and I watched a show on the National Geographic channel a few days ago, "Mega Structures." The show chronicled the story of the Chinese struggle in building bridges to "span the rivers that divide the country." This is clearly not a chicken and the egg scenario. The rivers came first and then the Chinese. It is people who have settled themselves along the banks of life-giving rivers and then turn their backs on the continually giving Earth and state that it is "dividing the people."

Even though the School of Forestry building at NAU is one of the most remote buildings, set more within the pines than any other building on campus, it is still intruding on the earth and the life processes of many species. Until the end of the ravens' nesting season at least, I will keep my distance from the footpaths that wind through the forest to my work.