Tuesday

Four days until Bryan and I are reunited... I can't wait.

Impossible Task?

After watching the new James Bond 007 movie, Quantum of Solace a few weeks ago, I decided I would forever more swear off of movies portraying excessive use of firearms. At the end of the first 10 minutes of the movie, dozens of people (all the "bad guys" of course) had been killed by Bond, and I realized as I looked around the theater that this type of entertainment is so pervasive and accepted by society, that no one was even bothered by the mass violence. In fact, we were all eating our popcorn and drinking our sodas with little concern at all. So, I decided to try an experiment and not watch any more media portraying guns. Little did I know what a tough challenge this would be. Here is a short list of shows I like and gray areas where media portrays gun use but maybe it's ok?...

1. Family Guy - excessive use of violence (i.e. Stewie beating up Brian "where's my money?!) for the purpose of biting social commentary
2. "Australia" - movie seen last night set in the 1940's when rough times and dangerous living required protection via firearms
3. Funny movies/spoofs that incidentally have firearm use/killing: "Get Smart" with Steve Carrell

Maybe I won't be able to wholly eliminate watching media without firearm use, but at least I can limit the amount I watch and be more aware of how guns are portrayed versus the stark reality of gun-related violence.

Sunrise

What I will miss about Prescott Valley: the gorgeous sunrises and sunsets. This morning was almost a cathartic experience writing in my journal as the orange-yellow sun rose over the mingus mountains, sending waves of pink and purple out before it. I hope the sunsets and sunrises in Colorado compare...

Not Helpful

Ok, starting to become very unhelpful: people who like to predict the end of the world. A few weeks ago at the Unitarian Universalist church in Prescott, the topic of interest was the situation in Columbia with the civil war and human rights violations. The story that was told by a man who travels to Columbia often to protest the human rights violations was very troubling and sickening. What's worse is that the United States hosts "schools" used to train military activists responsible for these human rights violations. But that's a topic for another discussion. At the end of this man's speech at the church, a question and answer session ensued. The first comment was by a seemingly frustrated woman in the front row: "this just proves what we have known all along. Our country is not a democracy anymore; whatever the people have to say doesn't make a bit of difference. I believe and have always believed, along with my friends, that the world is going to end on... [insert your favorite predictive date here] and there's just nothing we can do anymore. There's just nothing we can do."

Second instance: during the previews for "Quantum of Solace," the new James Bond movie, audiences were shown an image of a Tibetan monk in the Himalayas frantically sounding a huge gong as a massive tidal wave swept over the Himalayas. The ad line goes something like: "what will the governments of our world do when the end comes? [Pause] Nothing." Which is followed up by the date of the movie release and encouragement to google "end of the world [insert favorite date here]."

First off, an ocean over the Himalayas? Really? We are talking about the highest point on Earth. Global warming will indeed increase the levels of our oceans, catastrophically reducing inhabitable land along our nations' coastlines. This type of logic, plus the womans' from the UU church are based on fear, catastrophizing and unsupported attitudes of helplessness. And what is the use of this type of thinking? That we shouldn't mobilize our humanitarian aid power to protect the people in Columbia because there's no use? That we shouldn't do everything in our power to protect the Earth and the delicate atmosphere because a huge tidal wave is going to sweep over on us and destroy everything anyway? What is the use of such fatalistic thinking besides a morbid interest in an unpredictable future? Such thinking only promotes helpless attitudes that what we say and do has no effect on the behavior of others or our environment.

Like Christmas, But Not Quite

This morning as I woke, I had the distinct sensation of impending joyfulness, like the day was full of promise of great things to come, like Christmas morning as a kid. Then it dawned on me: "Barack Obama has been elected our next president!" It was and is indeed Christmas. Obama represents a new chance and a new hope for our nation, an unblemished fresh start. I remember now last night when the news was announced: I had been watching the results for so long at that time that I was barely focused on the television anymore. My mind was numb with the pundits' guesses as to outcomes for this battleground state and that controversial county and this prediction made in such and such month, and so on and so on.... and then... beneath the captions, I read "Obama elected president!" I sat with my mouth agape; my mom walking in the house at that moment didn't believe it was real. She cried. We hugged. We called relatives. We listened to one of the most real and convincing and heartfelt speeches I feel that I will ever hear a politician make.

On the other hand, this morning I read in the Prescott Courier that the "same sex" marriage proposition passed in Arizona. PASSED? A proposition amending our constitution to define marriage as only an institution between a man and a woman!? I couldn't think of a better example of NOT separating church and state. If this definition of marriage is not fully and 100 percent supported by secular organizations, then by reasonable argument, it is being pushed as an agenda of faith organizations! Then how, HOW can it be written in our Arizona constitution that we ALL must follow the mandate of a faith that is not neccessarily ours? This is NOT separation of church and state. This is lobbying by religious organizations that controls the lives of citizens that such organizations can't control any other way (not by scare tactics, or door to door evangelizing). This proposition is unconstitutional and un-American. Isn't it ironic that the faith-based organizations that pushed this amendment through are the same ones that are against what they call "government-controlled health-care?" Why is it ok for faith-based organizations to control our right to marry whom we want, but it isn't ok for the government to create a socially responsible universal health care system?

Goings On in Flagstaff

The last "summer break" of my life is drawing rapidly to an end. I realize that by this time next summer I will have already taken the board exams, hopefully passed, and be working full or at least part time as a full-fledged physical therapist. Colleen Gest, PT. At times I'm really excited and feel like I'm so ready for this change. At other times, panic sets in at the thought of having to bear so much responsibility.

For those of you unfamiliar with the politics of the profession, physical therapists are currently lobbying for direct access in all states (we already have it in AZ). What this means is you can see a physical therapist for rehabilitation after an injury without first having to see a primary care physician. And... it will be reimbursed by insurance! The challenge lies in the fact that now PTs will have more responsibility than ever. Because we are not seeing our patients after they've seen the doctor, it is our responsibility to catch any signs or symptoms that point to a disease/pathology that needs attention other than physical therapy (scary thoughts are cancers, blood clots, numb limbs, all of which can have musculoskeletal symptoms like any other issue seen in therapy). My classes at NAU have really emphasized this responsibility, and I have learned a lot; at the same time, prospects of the future are still quite scary.

On a similar note: internships! This next year is the "year of internships" (not unlike the Chinese "year of the boar...") for both Bryan and I. I am starting mine on August 4th in Flagstaff. Bryan has been (thankfully) at his internship at the Guidance Center in Flag for many weeks now. He is coming very close to finishing the first set of required hours to become a Licensed Associate Counselor. I am so proud of him as he has had to face a lot of adversity, and overcome many challenges to get where he is today.

Yesterday gave way to some reminiscing as Bryan and I walked accros Forest Meadows street at one end of our apartment complex, over to Dipping Dots. I remember going there when they first opened with Steve and Rachel. Did we go 2 or 3 times that night? The managers were having a great time laughing at our insatiable craving for the frozen treat...

Tragedy in the Pines

Yesterday while I was at work, 2 helicopters crashed just about 1/2 mile east of the hospital over McMillan Mesa. Luckily the crash did not happen over any homes, and no pedestrians/drivers on the ground were injured. Reports say that 6 people died in the crash and 4 were transported to the hospital. The crash was so loud that our therapists in our office on the 3rd floor of FMC thought it happened on the helipad outside our office. A lot of smoke could be seen from our third floor windows here, but no fire. Names are to be released at the Flagstaff City Hall at 9:00 this morning. Whatever your method of good wishes may be (thoughts, prayers), please send them over this way, to the friends and families of the victims. Hopefully I will write again soon, and the message will be more uplifting...

The Story of Stuff

My dad just sent me a link to what I would claim is one of the most motivating short films I've ever seen. "The Story of Stuff" with Annie Leonard (http://www.storyofstuff.com/index.html) is a 20 minute film that tracks how our consumeristic economy works, from gathering resources for our stuff to its creation in factories, marketing and selling in big-box stores, and finally disposal in land-fills or incinerators. Annie speaks simply and convincingly, such that by the 3rd step in the 5 step process she outlines, I was already silently wondering "what can I do to help? What can I do to stop this process?" Replete with cartoon illustrations, this short film definitely "got the point accross." It also contained some interesting facts I never knew, like how during the post-WWII economic boom the government actually designed the system to run on an increasingly rapid use of resources for consumerism. I also learned that during this time, researchers actually wrote very openly in scholarly articles about just how cheaply/inefficiently/easily they could make a product (that was designed to be thrown away in as little time as possible) while still maintaining the consumers' faith in the market! I'd definitely recommend this short film to everyone.

In other news, my post-surgical rehabilitation is going well. It is slow right now because motion and resistance exercises must be limited to protect the surgical repair. I have 3 sutures inside my shoulder joint capsule, which will stay with me the rest of my life. The pictures of them from during the surgery made them look like teeny, cable ropes; they look strong, so hopefully they will do their job well. I have a home exercise program where I basically stand against a wall at different orientations and push on it with my arm; I also use a pulley system to assist my arm with movement and range of motion. I don't have to wear my sling as much; only outside of the house. In general, things are on the upswing. Thanks to everyone who sent good thoughts and well-wishes my way during this tough time.

Winter Wonderland

I'm sure almost every Flagstaff blog must have the same title right about now. I don't know exactly how many inches it's snowed these last few days, but it is a LOT (and still snowing)!

After Bryan and I decided not to drive to school,

we walked instead. The normally short (20 minutes at the most) walk to school took a little over 30 mins. The walk was definitely worth it, despite being a little late for my second to last final exam. Although I will always dream of Monet's Plage (right), I always have a special place in my heart for snow. It reminds me of (here I go again) a simpler time and place; or at least my schema of a simpler time and place. I can't wait until my last final exam is over (tommorrow) so I can relax and enjoy the white stuff with Bryan. Snowmen, hot chocolate, and knitting in our cozy apartment are pretty high up on the list. Who knows? Maybe we'll even finally go cross-country skiing up at the Nordic Center like I've always wanted.

Bryan walking to school

Today the prefered ecofriendly mode of transportation is walking

Our street (Forest Meadows)

Watch out for falling snow!

Constitutional Confusion

As I sit in the classroom waiting for Bryan to be done with his Monday evening class so we can go home for the day, I stare blankly at the decorations that have recently been surreptitiously added to the wall next to the doorway. Beginning this fall semester, NAU (or is it the state of Arizona?) has mandated that every classroom must display an American flag and a copy of the United States Constitution on the wall for all to see.

What does this mean? Are we to somehow feel a sudden swelling of love for America, a nation that is a hostile presence in other countries? A nation about which I can't even begin to list all the reasons why I'm embarrassed to call myself by its nationality? What were the people who decided all classrooms needed this American "paraphanilia" thinking? Is it some Big Brother type tactic to remind us all of our patriotic duties? Because it sure doesn't remind me of my rights as an American citizen (the Bill of Rights is proudly emblazoned in the centre of the copy of the Constitution); rather it reminds me of the rigidity of the original structure of our government.

These symbols do not fill me with pride for our country. Placed in our classroom passively and aggressively, they are a not-so-friendly reminder that dissent against the government, against the war, against President Bush's will that the poorer children of this nation not recieve health care at reasonable costs is ill-advised.

When It's Good, It's Good

Working at the hospital is tough work. There's a lot of lifting to do, convincing people to get up who don't want to, cleaning up messes that most of us take for granted with a quick swipe of toilet paper a couple times a day. And I probably complain a fair amount about having to go to work on the weekend. But when it's good, it's good. Though those special moments may be few and far in between the less pleasant clean up moments, when the special moments happen, they can bring tears to my eyes. I can't really describe what makes these moments so great. Maybe it's the sheer simplicity of a patient being able to accomplish some of the most ordinary tasks that many of us take for granted: being able to feel the cool fall air on their skin, being able to stand up for the first time after a car accident, or even being able to roll in bed and scoot around.

I do a lot of passive range of motion on patients in the intensive care unit, and I often wonder what that patient is really like as a person. Who's hiding inside that outer shell of a person? What did they do in life? What were their hopes and dreams? Do they know what's happening to them? And then I may be able to get something as simple as a voluntary hand squeeze or toe wiggle, and this is such a huge accomplishment for them. So, even though I do more than my fair share of complaining, I think deep down I really do appreciate the opportunity to center myself, and re-calibrate my views on how amazing simple accomplishments can be if we take the time to appreciate them.

Maybe It's Not So Bad After All

Yes, the week started out on a rather unenthusiastic note, but I have to say that today I'm more encouraged about the rest of the semester (there I go thinking about the future again. Or does this mean that our happiness in the present is somewhat dependent on our perceptions of the future?).

Today for cardiopulmonary therapeutics, our assignment before we came to class was to review the basic anatomy and physiology of those systems. Then our "class" consisted of 3 rounds of trivia questions we had to answer. Prizes were given out to the groups with the most "right" answers, and our homework for the weekend is to find out more information on those questions we got wrong. In short, today was a fun way to learn about some really important stuff.

I'm describing this whole learning process for a reason; last night Rachel and Steve told us about the public elementary school system in Fort Collins. They described several different learning environments that in their non-traditional approach to learning sounded really cool. After having this experience today, I'm thinking there may be something to non-traditional education (i.e. Montessori schools, etc.) after all. I mean really, besides learning basic math, reading, and writing skills in elementary school, what did we learn to prepare us to problem solve in the real world? In a way, we need to let our kids experience what failure is, and then how to best react to it; instead of letting failure completely paralyze us, we need to learn how to effectively learn from our mistakes and better ourselves in the future. What better place to start doing this than school through creative learning processes? Ok there's my soap-box for the week.

The next time I post, I will probably have lots to say about Fort Collins, since we are leaving at noon today with Steve and Rachel for our road trip!

In A Strange Place

Today was the first day of classes, and for some strange reason, I wasn't as psyched as I usually am. Am I hitting a slump? In a way, I'm completely ready to be done with school, and I'm just not all that excited about this school year. But then I get to thinking... what is it that I'd rather be doing? Would I rather be living in a house, pregnant, having a job... being a "grown-up?" But then I realize that when I've got all of those things, I'll be wanting something else; probably wanting to be able to take more vacations, visit family more often, and so on. So what is it I/we really want out of life? How can I figure out how to find happiness in current situations instead of always hoping the future will get here quicker? I feel like I'm in such a strange place right now. I'm burnt out with school, but know that I shouldn't always be looking to the future. I've always thought one should strive to be more in sync with the present. Maybe this is just a response to the first day of classes, what with going over the syllabi and learning about all the projects in store for us for the semester. Let's see how the rest of the week unfolds. (There's those thoughts about the future again!)

Child-Like

Lately, I've been exposed to many opportunities that remind me of how truly valuable it is to see the world through a child's eyes. Kids seem to have this wonderful personna that throws all cares to the wind. Kids aren't afraid to dance in public, or hum loudly along to a song that's playing on their toy piano, even if they are completely off-key. Kids feel free to laugh, cry spontaneously, yell loudly, and to forgive, apologize, and forget easily. Babysitting has helped me remember all these aspects about being a kid, and this has renewed the vow I made for my 23rd birthday: to live as child-like as possible. Of course, rather than implying immaturity, this means seeing the world with open eyes (cliche of the day) and not getting hung up by all the little stressors that seem to accompany the tasks of young adulthood.

Along the same line, one of the most exciting evenings I've had in a long time was last Saturday. Bryan, Rachel, Steve, and I went out to downtown Flagstaff. I love trying out local restaurants that I've never been to before; this time it was the tasty Flagstaff Brewing Company near Black Bean Burrito (also very excellent). After grilled pizzas and Porter Ale, we were off to Rendezvous for pomegranate mojitos. Then, my favorite part of the night, spontaneous dancing at the square to a reggae-sounding group we had never heard of before. Allowing myself to get completely into the music, uninhibited, and free was exhilarating. Rachel and I had a great time dancing... and I can't wait to go again (thanks Bry and Steve for putting up with us... but I know you guys had a lot of fun too)!

A Day to Remember

Today is a day I'll never forget. Early this morning saw me in O.R. 15 at the Mayo Hospital in Phoenix. Wearing teal scrubs, foot wraps, and a hairnet, I stood nervously next to a wall watching doctors and nurses prepare a patient for a total hip surgery. Soon, I was positioned in a prime spot at the patient's head to watch the surgery. The surgery was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Everything that was done seemed to make perfect sense; and it went off without a hitch; only 2 hours until everything was completely sewn up. I'll never be jealous of doctors' salaries again... they totally earn it.

On another note, I'm super excited to return to Flagstaff this coming Saturday. It's been pretty busy here trying to tie up loose ends and finish my evaluations at the clerkship site. I can't say it will be any less busy in Flagstaff, what with working 3 jobs this summer. Yet, being with Bryan and friends will make the hectic work-life fade in comparison.

Thumbs up to: Surgery! No doubt it will be the coolest experience by far I will have this summer.

Give the axe to: As much as I miss the Lumberjack "giving the axe" to something every week, I can't seem to think of much to give the axe to. Therefore, in keeping with the optimistic and happy attitude of the blog as I originally intended, the axe will not be given out except on rare occasions truly deserving of the Lumberjack's memoir.

Reving up for National Physical Therapy Month

Okay, time for another plug for the PT program at NAU, and physical therapy in general. I hope to see lots of people (that includes those preparing for half marathons next year in Phoenix... hint, hint) come out for the 5k walk/run our program is organizing this October. The idea is to raise money that will be funneled into a scholarship fund to help those with Parkinson Disease (PD) participate in physical therapy.

Did you know that regular exercise and physical therapy can actually help neurons (nerve cells) build more connections? This helps a lot for those with PD, especially in allowing them to move with less limitations. Historically the role of exercise has been downplayed in slowing the progression of PD, in favor of pharmaceuticals, but recently we have learned that exercise can be extremely beneficial in preserving quality of life for those with PD. The walk/run will be a ton of fun; there will be race t-shirts, snacks, and even prizes for more serious competitors.

Keep those eyes and ears open for more as October draws nearer; suggestions to make the event a success are always appreciated! For more information on Parkinson Disease, check out the National Parkinson Foundation website at www.parkinson.org.

Prescott's Growing on Me

Ultraconservatives mixed with Prescott College hippies aside, Prescott's beginning to grow on me. Although the tricity area is in serious need of efficient mass transportation, it has its perks. A dream come true would be to live in a little cottage near downtown, being able to walk to summer concerts at the square and the small boutiques in Bashford Courts.

The second weekend after my clerkship started, Bryan, Jeff and I were meandering downtown with full stomachs after a Friday night dinner of sesame chicken and mixed veggies. A band was playing at the courthouse square reminiscent of those bands that played at Buffy, Xander, and Willow's hangout. We sat and watched the band as hippie children danced around like little freeform spirits and Bill came over from Bill's Pizza to serve out free slices of pizza. Lounging on the warm steps of the courthouse that were begining to cool from the sunny day was so relaxing and calm. Maybe Bry, Rachel, Steve and I will find a similar scene in Fort Collins. Whatever city we finally settle in, I know it will be quaint, centered around an old fashioned downtown, friendly, not require long distances to drive, and be moderately liberal. So for now, here's the top 10 reasons why I love Prescott:


10. The Dinner Bell Diner followed by Coffee Roasters

9. Canton Dragon/Monsoon/Fujiyama (all great Asian food!)

8. Mild weather. About 10 degrees warmer than Flagstaff year-round.

7. Prescott College; a model of sustainability.

6. Snap Snap. Need I say more? Probably the best thrift store hands down... but that cute one by the Prescott Pantry is catching up quickly.

5. The Prescott Pantry. Where else can you feel like you've just made a meal in your own kitchen on your lunch break in Prescott?

4. The Prescott Public Library. Now complete with cafe and internet access (the only computers available when I was a kid were to search for books).

3. The Courthouse Square

2. Quaint Vintage Era houses near downtown

1. Family close by

Needless to say, Prescott is not the same without Bryan, Steve, and Rachel, frisbee in the parks, or outings at Barnes and Nobles. Looking forward to coming back to Flagstaff to enjoy all that despite my memorable stay in Prescott.

Thumbs up to: Appreciating what's in front of you.

Give the ax to: Let's spare the ax today.

Why I Love Bryan

The subtitle to this blog should also read: and why I haven't been blogging in quite some time! This is because I've been studying for our Grand Poobah PT final, which I took yesterday. And now to one of the many reasons why I love Bryan. He was able to hypnotize me for the first time yesterday to help me relax before the big test, and it couldn't have been better timing. He took me through a script specifically designed for test anxiety, which let's just say I don't lack.

Some of the ideas in the session really got me to thinking. The script was about how sometimes we loose sight of how we used to be as kids: wondering and marveling at newfound knowledge, and reveling in the possibility to use that knowledge. It's far too easy at this point in my life to view knowledge as a burden, just something I need to cram into my head at the last minute for yet another midterm or practical exam. So as much as I can, I'm going to try to hang on to my inner child, espcially since I turn 23 on Saturday.

Thumbs up to: Bryan and inner children. (Also the Sun's smackdown of the Lakers on Tuesday night!)

Thumbs down to: Even THINKING about relaxing gun laws in the wake of Virginia Tech.

PT Interviews (Is it that time of year again?)

Tomorrow are the PT applicant interviews for NAU. I can hardly believe that it's been an entire year since I was in the applicant position. I've come up with my questions that I will ask the students, and hopefully they work out well. I was never too fond of those "if you could be a type of (fill in the blank), what would you be and why?" Those questions are designed to test stress, but I think they are still irrelevant.

I rember being so nervous for my interviews. The (then) first year students kept encouraging us to relax, that everything would be low key. NAU did manage to pull off low-key interviews, but it was still almost impossible to relax. That's why I'm glad I'm not an usher tomorrow. I don't think I'd be able to tell the applicants anything else but to "relax." I guess somehow, you just have to put your best face forward and know that everything will turn out fine.

It is surreal to me that I will be meeting some of next year's potential PT students. These students are such a great group and will really be able to help people someday, as will my class. I'm so glad this is the profession I chose in life. I couldn't think of a more useful job that contributes to society more (for me).

Thumbs up to: People who find their jobs/careers rewarding and whose jobs have aspects of altruism to them.

Double thumbs up to: American Idol producers, who announced their intent to use American Idol as a fundraising tool to help decrease poverty in Africa and the United States.

Give the ax to: Not much. Another great day in Flagstaff, where average temperatures in the mid 40's really makes you appreciate those 60 degree days like today.

de novo

Among some of the slightly bookwormish things I do, one of them is recieving a word of the day in my daily e-mail. Today's word of the day struck me: de novo. It's latin and means anew, or from the beginning. I'm realizing that being able to start each day anew is more important than what I once thought.

For example, I find myself carrying increasingly larger loads of emotional baggage as I progress through the PT program at NAU. There are so many seemingly impossible hurdles: passing my classes, passing the big exam at the end of the year, passing the boards, being able to properly diagnose, develop a plan of care, coordinate therapy services to name a few. I've noticed that I tend to carry over this emotional baggage from day to day, instead of letting go of it at night and starting each day de novo. So, in the future, I will try to start each day de novo, in hopes of decreasing my time spent worrying about what could possibly go wrong.


Thumbs up to: The beautiful, temperate day we just had in Flagstaff (nice break from the wind).


Give the ax to: Overcommitting (saying I would help with new PT applicant interviews and work at the hospital on the same day).